Who is your girlfriend?
by johnpatgillespie
Summary: After an incident involving Eret and a tree, Ruffnut falls in love with Hiccup. And this is only made worse when Valka, not knowing of Hiccup and Astrid's relationship, gives Ruffnut and a very confused Hiccup her blessing, with imminent disaster soon to follow. Post-HTTYD2. No longer one-shot. Slight spoilers. Contains Hiccstrid.
1. Who is your girlfriend?

"I'm sorry, Ruffnut. But you're six years too young for me, and you're a nutter!" Eret complained as he rebuffed Ruffnut's advances for the fiftieth time that day.

"Ruff, will you just leave Eret alone" Hiccup said. Now he understood why being chief of Berk was so hard for his father considering what the twins were like.

"It's not my fault he's so damn hot!" Ruffnut objected as she wrapped her arms around Eret's waist, Skullcrusher trying to pull her away from his master (with Grump applying some help too). Finally, thanks to some help from Toothless, the new alpha dragon, Ruff was dragged away from Eret and placed up in a tree.

"That's it, Eret, Son of Eret. I've moved on from you" Ruff said before the branch she was in broke, sending her crashing to the ground, Hiccup unintentionally breaking her fall in the process. When she saw who it was that had "saved" her, she hugged Hiccup and kissed him on the cheek, saying "thanks cutie". It seemed as though she had found another boy to obsess over and it was none other than the chief of Berk himself.

Perched next to the statue of her late husband, Stoick, Valka had witnessed this happening, and, not knowing of her son's relationship with Astrid, said "aw, did you see that, Cloudjumper. My wee Hiccup has finally got himself a girlfriend. I may be a grandmother sooner than we thought"

Later that day, Astrid was feeding her dragon, Stormfly, when Ruffnut came over and said "hey Astrid"

"Oh hi Ruff, what's up?"

"Eret and I broke up" Ruffnut said.

"You guys were actually dating?" Astrid asked, slightly confused.

"But it's okay. After all, I'm in love with someone else"

"Who? Snotlout" Astrid asked. Ruffnut shook her head.

"Fishlegs?" Ruffnut once again shook her head. "You can't be in love with Tuffnut, he's your brother!"

"But, also. I overheard Valka just now" Ruffnut lied, although she didn't know she was telling the truth at this point.

"Oh yeah, what did she say?"

"She said she doesn't approve of you and Hiccup being together" Ruffnut answered, trying to look sympathetic.

But Astrid simply said "well, that doesn't bother me"

"What? But Valka said th-

"Come on Ruff. We're Vikings. You have to have an occupational hazard somewhere. Even in relationships. I'll go talk to Valka now. Unlike Drago, she can be reasoned with. I'll just change her mind. Easy as that"

"Astrid, I don't think you'll be able to do that" Ruffnut said, grabbing a shovel once Astrid turned her back.

"Well, why not" Astrid responded, turning to face Ruffnut, only to receive a wallop to the face from the shovel, her face leaving dents in the metal.

While she was briefly stunned, Ruffnut put Astrid in a stable with a metal door and locked her in, saying "oh and by the way, I'm in love with your-or should I say-my boyfriend now, see you round, Astrid."

"Ruffnut!" Astrid shouted angrily as she pounded on the locked door until her fists bled, and then trying to cut dents in the door with an axe she had found there. "When I get out of here, boy will you be lucky. Most people only get to have two boots, but you'll have an extra one. Right up your-

Ruffnut decided to put her fingers in her ears in order to avoid hearing the rest of Astrid's rants, as she went to the great hall to try and steal Hiccup for herself.

That night, in the great hall, the Vikings of Berk were paying their respects to their former chief, Stoick the Vast, who had been killed in battle with Drago Bludvist not a month beforehand.

"A toast, to Stoick. A great leader, and a good man" Gobber said as he raised his drink, as all the other villagers raised theirs and said "to Stoick". Hiccup sat at a table where he thought about that day. The day when Drago's Bewilderbeast had killed his mother's, and had ordered Toothless to kill him. And how his father had pushed him out of the way just in time to take the shot himself. Just then Eret entered the room and sat at a table nervously. Hiccup was curious enough to ask "hey Eret. You okay?"

"Oh yeah. I'm fine. I'm just waiting for this blind date Tuffnut set me up with. She's a bit late I might add."

"Oh really. What's her name?"

"You know, I can't bloody remember. I think it's something like um...Hetty or Harriet.

"Well good luck" Hiccup said before returning to mourning his father again.

"Hello son" Valka said as she sat next to Hiccup.

"Hi Mom" Hiccup responded.

"So, you never told me that you have a girlfriend"

Hiccup then realised that his mother was right, he never had told her about him and Astrid.

"Oh my Gods, Mom. I completely forgot."

"Oh aye, just like your father. But still I canny believe you have a girlfriend"

"Oh yeah, see. It's that girl As-

"I always knew that Thorston lass would be perfect for you. Ever since her parents showed me her when she were but a wee baby. And then I thought to me self. She'd be perfect for my Hiccup she would. And that brother of hers could do with a wee bit more intelligence but still, nice enough in-laws if I do say so me self"

"Wait. What?"

"Ye know. Ruffnut Thorston. Your girlfriend."

"Ruffnut. Girlfriend?"

"Oh aye, dunny bother denyin' it. I saw you two love birds today. She was attacking that Eret lad and Skullcrusher put her up in that tree, and you went to save her. Oh, to be young, wild and have your father by my side again. so romantic."

"Yeah, well. See Mom. Ruffnut is n-

"Hi honey" Ruffnut said as she ran over and sat on Hiccup's lap, resting directly on his crotch, trying to get in an almost sexual position, one that made Hiccup very uncomfortable.

"Oh, hello Ruffnut. Hiccup over here was just telling me about your little relationship"

"Oh, he was. Aw, I'm so proud of you honey. You finally told her" Ruffnut said, as Hiccup whispered "where's Astrid?"

"She's dead. She said I could have you" Ruffnut lied. Meanwhile, a hand slipped out of the metal stable and picked the lock on the outside, before Astrid kicked the door down and stormed up to the great hall.

"So. Any ideas on when can I expect to see some grandchildren" Valka asked, which caused Hiccup to go red. This day could not get any worse he thought.

"Oh, you know, once my darling Hiccup over here decides to show me the unclassified dragon he's hiding downstairs, and then we'll be right on it, although we're both so thrilled that we could get your blessing for ou-

"RUFFNUT!" Astrid screamed in anger as she stormed up to the trio.

"Oh Astrid. I'm so glad you're not dead" Hiccup said sarcastically, looking at Ruffnut.

"Oh, hello, Astrid. Ruffnut and Hiccup over here just asked me for my blessing. Isn't that grand" Valka said naively.

"Can it Val! You better shut that fucking mouth before I shut it for you! If I wanted you to talk my hand would be up your ass and I'd be working you like a puppet" Astrid snapped angrily as she grabbed Valka's staff and snapped it in half. "I don't care if you don't accept me and Hiccup, cause I've come here for one reason and one reason only: to kick this backstabbing boyfriend stealer's ass!"

Astrid then grabbed Ruffnut by the hair and threw her through a door, following her in the process. I stand corrected Hiccup thought as he followed them. Ruffnut picked herself up and clicked her knuckles into place. "Okay, you little bitch" she said. "You want to fuck with me? Let's go!" Astrid said "that's kind of stupid coming from a skinny little shit like you!" before Ruffnut answered with "aw, lookey here. The great Astrid Hofferson is scared that I can actually take you on" this statement infuriating Astrid into dropping the axe and saying "okay, you fucking cunt. Just means you're gonna die slower" as she clicked her neck into place before they both charged their attacks. Hiccup ran over to the two girls to split them apart, but it was all for naught as the two were already busy rolling on the floor punching and clawing each other to death, Valka beginning to enjoy the show as she watched.

Astrid pinned Ruffnut on her back before Ruffnut scratched her across the face, blinding Astrid with her own blood. Once she had recovered, Astrid had quickly managed to grab Ruffnut by the arm and kick her in the deltoid, temporarily paralysing Ruffnut's arm.

Ruffnut grabbed a shard of glass and slashed Astrid across the face, leaving a trail of blood to drip from her cheek to her neck.

"Ha ha. That's my future daughter in law!" Valka said, fully supporting Ruffnut.

Astrid grabbed Ruffnut by the waist and threw her in the opposite direction, attempting to body-slam her former friend but instead receiving a hard kick to the stomach.

Ruffnut pulled Astrid's hair with all the strength she had, when Astrid had finally freed herself Ruff was left holding two large clumps of blonde hair. Astrid and Ruffnut ended up on the floor again, with the latter's face eventually being buried in a pile of dirt, apparently giving Astrid the victory.

But once Astrid's back was turned, Ruff grabbed a stone with her one good arm and tossed it at Astrid's skull, knocking her to the floor and allowing Ruffnut to grab her by the ears and headbutt her. Astrid turned the tables on Ruff and threw her head against a stone, slamming a fist hard into her face every five seconds.

"Come on now, Hiccup. Do something!" Valka ordered.

"Yeah, I don't think Astrid needs much help, Mom"

"Aye, and she's currently beating your girlfriend to a pulp. Now d-

"FOR GODS' SAKE MOM! RUFFNUT IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Hiccup shouted, loud enough for Astrid and Ruffnut to hear, and momentarily cease their fighting.

"What?" Valka said. "But, if Ruffnut's not your girlfriend, then who is?"

"ASTRID IS MY GIRLFRIEND! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU ALL NIGHT!"

Astrid dropped Ruffnut in the sand and kissed Hiccup, every corner of her face bloodied to the point of it even dripping onto Hiccup's face.

"I love you, Astrid" he said.

Astrid was on the verge of tears. "I love you too Hiccup. And I don't care if you don't accept it" she said stubbornly to Valka. "Hiccup and I love each other. We've kissed, we've had dates and I've been down there a lot more times than once. And we also want to have kids as soon as possible"

"Oh my dears" Valka said, hugging them both. "I'm so sorry for this whole misunderstanding. I'm proud to call you my daughter Astrid, and I couldn't be prouder to give you my blessing."

"You hear that, lads" Eret shouted. "A toast to the 'appy couple!"

When suddenly, an ear piercing shriek filled the air as Astrid turned to see Ruffnut charging towards her with a pen knife in hand. But before Ruffnut could do Astrid any harm, she was struck to the floor as a fist slammed into her face. Astrid saw her savior, though none of them were expecting to see this person again. "Heather?"

"Hi Astrid" Heather said as she squeezed the hand that she had hit Ruffnut with. "What are you doing here?" Hiccup asked, Heather answering "I'm here for a blind date with this guy I've been writing to for the last month. I think his name's Eli or something"

"It's actually Eret" the dragon trapper said as he walked up to her. Heather held Eret's hand as they walked towards Eret's new house, Eret saying "come my dear. Why don't I show you my battle scars?"

As they watched the two leave, Hiccup said "so, where were we?" as he grabbed Astrid and pulled her in for a long, deep kiss, Valka using her spare staff to cover Cloudjumper's eyes while this happened.

Meanwhile, a battered and bloodied Ruffnut looked up to see Astrid with her prize, and said "aw, what am I gonna do now?"

"You know. I'm always available" Snotlout said from behind her. Ruffnut responded to this by simply punching him in the face. She'd had enough crap today already.


	2. Astrid tells a story(part 1)

The next day, Valka looked through the forge where Hiccup usually worked. She was trying to see if her son was asleep anywhere in the piles of paper and weapons. When suddenly a voice said "Valka?", Astrid standing at the door.

"Oh Astrid. Hello, my dear. Have you seen Hiccup anywhere?" Valka asked.

"Oh yeah, Hiccup's back at the academy. Hm, haven't been in here for a while"

"The forge?"

"Yeah, this is where I first read my poem to Hiccup"

"Poem?"

"Oh gods. Has Hiccup not told you how we got together?"

"He's said even less about that that the fact that he actually had a girlfriend" Valka answered.

"Well, I'll have to tell you about it sometime"

"Well, I've plenty of time. Ye can tell me now" Valka said as she sat down to listen.

"Okay" Astrid said before sitting down to tell the story.

_(FLASHBACK-last year)_

The sun shone surprisingly brightly as Hiccup woke up to see his dragon Toothless practically half asleep. "Morning bud" he said as he went over to his sleeping reptile. "Why don't we go out for a flight, huh? That ought to wake you up". Hiccup took his incredibly tired dragon down the stairs and headed for the door, only to be stopped however when a voice said "Hiccup, you and I need to talk." "Toothless, just go outside bud, I'll be out in a minute" Hiccup said, motioning Toothless to go while he turned to face his father. "Hey Dad. What's up?"

"Hiccup, as you know, you're 19 years of age now, and I'm not a young man anymore" Stoick explained while turning to get his helmet off of a shelf. "Sooner or later you're going to have to take on my responsibility as your own. One day, you will be fulfilling your destiny and running the village as the chief of Berk. And, to be honest son, I'd like to see me grandchildren before I'm gone, so that is why I-Hiccup?" he continued before realising that his son had gone while he was giving his speech, presumably doing so after the use of the word "grandchildren".

Elsewhere, Hiccup was adding some paint applications and finishing touches to his new helmet. He had designed it as to keep the wind out of his face when riding Toothless or even when using his newly built flight suit, if he ever wore it of course. He then placed his helmet in a box next to his ornate shield and his gas powered fire sword, which he had called Inferno, before pushing the box to the side. When suddenly he heard a voice that said "Hiccup, are you there?" "Oh, hi Astrid. I'm so glad you're not my dad" he answered. Astrid walked up to him before they heard a voice that said "Hiccup. Where are you?". This time it was his father, prompting Hiccup to dart under the table, Astrid joining him in his hiding place. Stoick walked into the room and looked around. "Hm, I was sure I heard something. Oh well" he said before leaving.

"So Astrid, what brings you here?" Hiccup asked once his father had gone. "I need to talk to you about something, Hiccup so can we just sit down here for a minute please" she answered. "Well, sure, anything. Just tell me" Hiccup said, before Astrid reluctantly told him "I…have…written…a poem". Hiccup said "really? You write poetry". "Well kind of" Astrid responded. "I never actually read my poetry to anyone, but I wanted to read this to you because you're smart and you know what good poetry is". "Well, I'll see what I can do. I'm all ears. Read away."

"Well, here goes" Astrid said before hesitantly reading her poem.

_I'll like you forever, but I'll love you for always._

_I've known you for a real long time, and I can't believe I made this rhyme._

_I think about you day and night, because you make my life seem bright._

_My heart feels higher than a dove, when it's lifted by your love._

_I wish to spend my life with you, that's the thing I'd choose to do._

_Because I'll like you forever, but I'll love you for always._

"Astrid" Hiccup said. "That was amazing. One of the best poems I've ever heard. You're a natural". "Well, I am all natural, yes" Astrid said proudly, clearly having misinterpreted Hiccup's words as she puffed out her chest, putting emphasis on her breasts. "I mean a natural poet. Sorry. But seriously, Astrid, why haven't you read this in public?". "I just didn't think that anyone would like them" Astrid explained. "Astrid, listen to me. You're as smart as you are beautiful. If you write poetry that good, the world deserves to hear it. Trust me, everyone is going to love it" Hiccup said before kissing her on the cheek and going to find Toothless. When Astrid got up from under the table, she slumped into a chair with disappointment. "But I didn't write it for the world" she said quietly. "I wrote it for you". Before she left, she saw Hiccup's helmet in the box and looked at it. She checked to make sure no one was looking before pressing the inside of the helmet to her face and inhaling the smell of the inside. Hiccup had already worn this helmet before, therefore it definitely smelt like him, so much in fact that Astrid almost fainted with bliss, only not doing so when her dragon Stormfly called for food. Astrid snapped out of her wonder world phase and went to feed her Nadder, unknowingly leaving her poem on the table.

Sooner or later, Ruffnut came into the forge looking for Hiccup. In the four years that had passed since the battle with the Red Death, Ruffnut had what had developed from a small crush into a full blown infatuation with Hiccup. Hiccup had after all matured into quite the young man. His working in the forge meant he had some pretty neat muscles. He even managed to get abs in the past few years. Of course the only thing that stood between her and Hiccup was his close friendship with Astrid, who with an attraction to Hiccup that equalled Ruffnut's had made the two young girls bitter rivals in the process, Hiccup himself not knowing of either of their affections to him. Just then, Ruffnut looked on the table and saw the poem. After reading it and seeing the words _By Astrid Hofferson _on the bottom, a wicked smile came to Ruffnut's face. "I've got myself an idea" she said quietly. And it was a terribly cruel idea. One that Ruffnut was certain that it would tear Hiccup away from Astrid and sew him ever so closer to herself. Ruffnut put the poem in her jacket and left to put her plan in action.

_(FLASHFORWARD-present day)_

"What did Ruffnut do!?" Valka asked, wanting to know more. "She better not have tried to come between you too, the little slag!"

Astrid was surprised that Valka had gone from loving to hating Ruffnut in the course of a single night, before saying "it's okay, Valka. It's alright. Just calm down and I'll tell you"


	3. Rejection(part 2)

_(FLASHBACK)_

Astrid and Stormfly landed on the docks after a race around the island. She had just dismounted Stormfly when she heard Ruffnut's voice, followed by laughter. She hid around a corner and saw Ruffnut, accompanied by Snotlout, Fishlegs and Tuffnut, she was reading Astrid's poem, and they were laughing at it.

"RUFFNUT!" Astrid screamed as she stormed over to the group. Snotlout said "Hey Astrid. Ruff was reading you-AAAHHH!" before being grabbed by the hair and kicked in the face by Astrid, who then said "you…piece…of…shi-

"Genius! Right?" Ruffnut said sarcastically. "I found this lovely paper in the forge, after you developed a helmet-sniffing-fetish!" she continued before tossing Hiccup's helmet to her, and adding "when you're done with it, just give it to me and I'll give it to Hiccup when I'm done getting an orgasm from him! Ha ha!"

"You actually think you can get Hiccup before me?" Astrid taunted.

"Well, not to blow my own horn, but I'm way hotter than you, Astrid. And younger than you! So I'm not going to blow my own horn, 'cause I'll be blowing Hiccup's horn sooner or later anyway! And you can just get with ugly over here!"

"That is not funny!" Snotlout responded angrily.

"I…am…going…to…KILL YOU!" Astrid screamed. "Oh, I'd like to see you tr-AAHH!" Ruffnut said before Astrid grabbed her, sending them both crashing to the ground. Astrid cupped Ruffnut's cheek and slammed a fist into her face. Once she had spat out three teeth, Ruffnut head butted Astrid and pulled off one of her shoulder pads, tearing her shirt slightly also. Astrid grabbed a rock and threw it at Ruffnut's abdomen, performing a 360 back flip which sent Ruffnut back at least 10 feet. Astrid jumped on top of Ruffnut and held her rival down, Ruffnut moving her head slightly as to avoid being head butted by Astrid, who's face crashed into the dirt. "You can't even keep a boyfriend. Look at Thuggory!" Ruffnut taunted, which angered Astrid to the point of no control, grabbing Ruffnut by her head and holding her down, before zipping in and biting Ruffnut's ear, Ruffnut screaming in pain afterwards. Elsewhere, Hiccup was putting on his newly made flight suit on top of a cliff just outside of Berk. When he heard Ruffnut's scream, he shouted "Toothless!" but seeing that his dragon was asleep back at his house, had no choice but to jump off of the cliff and open his flight suit. To his surprise, it worked perfectly, sending him gently down to where the commotion was happening. He rushed to where Astrid and Ruffnut were fighting and pulled Astrid away, Ruffnut gripping her torn, bleeding ear once freed from Astrid's grasp. Astrid tried to attack Ruffnut again, but was unable to get to her rival with Hiccup holding her. "Snotlout! Get Ruffnut out of here! And someone pass me that helmet please" Hiccup said, to which his friends obeyed, Snotlout pulling Ruffnut away and picking up the helmet, which he returned to Hiccup. "Here you go, cousin" Snotlout said as he gave Hiccup the helmet, before Ruffnut punched him in the face and Hiccup said "guys, help Snotlout!".

Hiccup held onto Astrid as he dragged her back to the forge, Astrid angrily kicking and screaming every step of the way there. When Hiccup finally got Astrid into the forge, he sat her down on a bench inside, before shutting the door and saying "okay, so can we just talk about what happened out there, please?"

"What does it look like happened. I was this close to killing Ruffnut and then you came and ruined everyth-WILL YOU JUST GET OFF ME! IT'S NOT EVEN MY BLOOD!" Astrid screamed as Hiccup tried to wipe some blood from her mouth with his hand. "Look Astrid, why don't we just talk about why that happened, hm?"

"Look, I went into the village, saw that two faced son of a yak reading my poem and she said she was hotter than me and then I bit her on the ear. Simple as."

"You bit her on the ear? Come on Astrid. That's not you" Hiccup said, before sitting next to her and reaching to her, Astrid initially tensing at his actions, before he said "it's okay, it's alright. Come here" as he gently embraced her, Astrid beginning to cry on his shoulder. "Come on you. Why the tears, huh?" Hiccup asked, to which Astrid answered "Ruffnut told me today that I could never keep a boyfriend, she used Thuggory as an example".

"Thuggory the Meathead? Mogadon's son? Isn't he dead now?" Hiccup asked. "Yes" Astrid answered through her tears. "About ten years ago, Mogadon came to Berk for a peace treaty signing. I met Thuggory and we got to know each other. Then, (sigh) I was stupid enough to go in for a kiss, and then he revealed he wasn't even interested in me. He was just using me to get to Ruffnut."

"That's heartless" Hiccup said. "They dated for a couple of years, one day Thuggory was killed in a dragon attack and Ruffnut promised me that if I ever fell in love again then she would take him away from me" Astrid continued as she hugged Hiccup tighter. "Don't worry Astrid" Hiccup said as they separated. "If you ever fall in love, you'll never be rejected. You'll find a good guy to help you, someone who cares about you. Someone whose smart enough to see the intelligence, the sensitivity, the beauty that I see".

"You really see beauty in me?" Astrid asked. "Of course Astrid. I've seen beauty in you since we were like, five years old. And if Thuggory didn't see the goddess who I see, then he must have lost his eyes in a dragon attack"

"Well Hiccup, it's time I told you the truth about that poem. I wrote it about you" Astrid said, pulling down the torn part of her shirt, revealing the black strap on her bra. "Really?" Hiccup asked, both surprised and confused at Astrid's revelation, as well as trying to divert his attention from her torn shirt. "Yeah, I did. See, Hiccup. You're my inspiration. The human incarnation of my happiness. You and Stormfly are the only reasons that I get up in the morning with a happy look on my face. Whenever you fly off to another island with Toothless, I just have a mini breakdown every time cause I fear that you're never gonna come back and when you do, I'm me again okay. You know, it's like no Hiccup, no Astrid, right. That's my analysis of you, Hiccup"

"Well, thank you for telling me this, Astrid" Hiccup said thankfully. Astrid clutched her kneecap while she stared at Hiccup, a wide smile on her face. She knew that she wouldn't be able to hold off her urges for this attractively skinny Viking much longer. Hiccup simply said "boy, what a day. My head is spinning" and before he knew it he had his back against the bench, Astrid having lost control as she desperately attempted to make a pass at Hiccup, her lips pressing aggressively against his. Hiccup grabbed her wrists and attempted to reason with her while she trailed kisses across his cheek and down from his ear to his neck. "No Astrid, we shouldn't be doing this! Astrid stop! Astrid!" he said as he tried to push the desperate young woman away, only for her to cover his mouth with her hand as she said "I'm sorry but I can't stop myself Hiccup" before continuing with a more desperate tone in her voice as she said "I know what I'm doing is crazy and I know Ruffnut is hotter but I love you and I can't _stand _it anymore!". Hiccup continued his attempts to get Astrid off of him as he stood from the bench, Astrid still refusing to let go as she continued to kiss the top of his mouth, her lips brushing against his thin stubble while she wiped her still bloody fingers on his green shirt and his small body armour. "Oh come on, I just washed this!" Hiccup said as Astrid grabbed his hand and pulled it over to her waist, trailing it up her stomach to pressing it onto her breast. Once his cold fingers felt her bra, Hiccup finally grabbed Astrid's shoulders and pushed her away, Astrid landing on the carpet in the process.

When Astrid hit the floor did Hiccup realise what he just did. "Oh my gods! Astrid…a-a-ar-are y-y-you ok-k-kay?" he stuttered as Astrid stood up.

Astrid looked at the floor Hiccup had pushed her onto, and said "you…you…rejected…me"

"What? No. No. I-I-I didn't…I just… (sigh) yes, I'm sorry but I did"

"No…no, this…can't be right…you said that…if I ever fell in love, I would…I would never be rejected…and then…then you rejected me!"

"Astrid, I'm sorry. You're smart, you're beautiful, and I love that, but that was highly inappropriate what you just did!"

"Loving you was highly inappropriate?!"

"Yes. I mean no. I mean, ugh. Loving me is fine, it's just…going crazy like that and trying to do whatever you were doing is highly inappropriate"

"How is that even remotely inappropriate? I love you and I thought you loved me. I just wanted to…um…you know, consummate our union"

"Consummate our union? What union?! We're not together Astrid!"

"Are you using reverse psychology on me Hiccup?"

"Reverse Psychology? No!"

"So when you say no, you're actually saying yes, right?"

"What?"

"And if you're saying we're not together, you actually mean we are?"

"I am not using reverse psychology! We are not a couple. I'm not your boyfriend and you're not my girlfriend!"

"Are you sure this isn't reve-

"YES!"

"So, you rejected me. Just like that. After everything we just did. The poem I wrote for you. The things you said to me. The kiss you gave me" Astrid said as she felt her cheek.

"Look Astrid. I'm sorry, but we just can't do anything like that right now. I'm not ready for it yet"

"We're nineteen years old Hiccup. If you're not ready now, how will you ever be?" Astrid said angrily before shoving past Hiccup and leaving the forge. Hiccup only expected a punch on the shoulder, but not even that came.

_(FLASHFORWARD)_

"Hold on. Hiccup pushed you away? Feckin' Ruffnut!" Valka said.

Astrid answered "yeah. Don't worry Valka. Just wait till you hear the rest."


	4. Love(part 3)

_(FLASHBACK)_

Later on, Hiccup had just finished testing his upgraded flight suit, before a female voice said "hey there, dragon boy". Hiccup turned to face the girl; though it wasn't the girl he expected or wanted to see when he turned around. "Oh, hi Ruffnut" he said awkwardly, praying to the gods that Astrid wasn't around to see this.

"Wasn't Astrid crazy yesterday? She's just too crazy for you Hiccup" Ruffnut said as she stroked her injured ear with her finger as she unbuttoned her shirt slightly. "I've always sensed this chemistry between us two, in case you're, you know, interested" Hiccup was trying not to look at her exposed cleavage as he tried to say "look Ruffnut. I don't think it's a good idea to do that. See, I don't...think that Astrid is, um, too...crazy for me. Because I...Well, it's complicated, really"

Ruffnut smiled seductively as she pushed one of her sleeves down a bit, making her body more exposed as she said "well, if you change your mind, you'll know where to find me" before leaving. Hiccup wondered about what had just happened. What was she talking about "chemistry" for? And of course Ruff had truly crossed the line with what she did with her shirt. _It didn't even look like she was wearing a bra_ Hiccup thought to himself. While he thought of this he wondered what Ruffnut was up to that afternoon. What was talking about "chemistry" for? And what was she talking about when she said Astrid was too crazy for him? Her craziness was one of the best things about Astrid. And then it came to him. The reason Ruffnut couldn't seduce him was because he loved Astrid. Hiccup said to himself "It all makes sense now. I love Astrid. Ha ha, I love Astrid. I LOVE ASTRID!"

_Two days later..._

"Don't you worry boy. There are plenty of other dragons in the skies" Gobber said as he added some finishing touches to the saddle he had made for his dragon Grump. Hiccup still looked at where Astrid was hugging Stormfly and said "but I've had a thing for that dragon since the day I met her". He had to talk to Astrid and make things right with her. It had been two days since it happened, but Hiccup knew that Astrid was a Viking. Vikings don't forget what they don't forgive.

Meanwhile, Astrid was crying as she talked to Stormfly. Astrid had to make others think that she was angered, rather than heartbroken, by Hiccup's rejection. Stormfly wiped Astrid's tears away with her smoothened tail, only for Astrid to think about Hiccup and cry even more. When suddenly a voice said "hey Astrid!".

"Oh come on Hiccup, re-" Astrid said before being punched in the face by Ruffnut, who now wore a bandage over her bitten ear. "Ruffnut! What are you doing here, you boyfriend stealing son of a troll!?". "I came here to get you out of my way!" Ruffnut shouted as she kicked Astrid in the jaw, sending her five feet away. Stormfly attempted to defend her master, but Ruffnut, having already anticipated it, got out a chicken leg and threw it behind her, Stormfly now diverting her attention to the chicken leg instead of Astrid, who Ruffnut yanked up to the ground before throwing her down again. Several long strands of blonde hair were now in Ruffnut's hands as she tried to goad Astrid into fighting back. Believing herself to have already lost Hiccup, Astrid saw neither need nor will to fight back, instead allowing Ruffnut to turn her onto her back and kick her in the throat. Astrid was now lying on her front as she coughed up her own blood, while Ruffnut grabbed a piece of mast from a recovered Viking ship, preparing to use it as a bludgeon. It was only now that Hiccup looked out the forge window to see Astrid being beaten, before jumping out of the window to stop the fighting. He rushed to where Astrid was to help her, cupping her face in his hands and saying her name to try and help her up. "H-h-h-hiccup?" she asked weakly, still being dizzy. "It's me Astrid, are you okay?" Hiccup said as she wiped the blood from her nose and mouth, before Astrid screamed "Hiccup look out!" but it was too late as Hiccup was already struck to the floor by Ruffnut's bludgeon, Ruffnut herself soon being thrown to the floor as Astrid attacked her in anger. Hiccup snapped out of his near-unconscious state, before feeling his nose and cleaning the small trickle of blood from his nostril. He then heard Astrid and Ruffnut shouting, before running to where the two girls were still wrestling one another to the ground, Astrid somehow gaining a massive advantage over the now equally beaten and bloody Ruffnut, who eventually managed to dig her sharpened nails into Astrid's cheek, swiping them across her rival's face to now leave long scratches on Astrid's already bruised cheek. The blood from Astrid's clawed face now dripped onto Ruffnut's forehead as she pinned the latter to the floor, before Astrid dragged her by the hair and threw her into a cupboard in the forge.

Once Astrid had locked the door as to stop her rival from escaping, Hiccup said "okay, can you just tell me what was happening then!". "Well, I think I should tell you that it was your fault!" Astrid shouted angrily.

"How exactly is it my fault? Please tell me"

"You rejected me an-

"Ugh, are we still talking about that! That was two days ago!"

"And we're Vikings, Hiccup! We don't forget what we don't forgive!"

"What exactly do you have to forgive me for? Trying to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life?"

"Oh no, Hiccup. My biggest mistake was thinking that you loved me!"

"I do!" Hiccup shouted, causing them both to go quiet. Astrid was first to break the silence with "you do…what?" Hiccup didn't answer, so Astrid asked again, but Hiccup only looked to his prosthetic. "What do you do, Hiccup?!"

"I do love you! And it's why I rejected you!" Hiccup answered. "What?" Astrid asked, quite confused at his answer as Hiccup took her hands. "Look Astrid, I love you. I always have and I always will. I want to protect you, and that's why I had to reject you. I had no other choice!"

"You did have another choice! That choice was you and I having…you know…relations. That's the stupidest thing you've ever said! You should have just porked me! If you did love me that's what you would have done! You would have made me feel loved, happy, and beautiful! If you loved me then you would have done what a boy does to a girl when he loves her! And when I say that, I obviously mean sex!"

"And what if we did that, Astrid? Huh? What if we had sex and I got you pregnant? What if Dagur or Savage came back? What if they kidnapped you and stabbed you there?" Hiccup asked, pointing to Astrid's stomach. "If I lost you and any baby we had I just wouldn't forgive myself! And… (sigh) and that's why we can't do anything like that yet. I'm sorry"

"Hiccup" Astrid said as she stroked the side of his face. "I'll like you forever, but I'll love you for always. I don't care if you're the buff guy from Bucket's painting or the skinny shrimp you were four years ago. I don't care if you're a master tactician or a clumsy young hooligan. Hell, I don't even care if your thing is so small it's invisible or if it's so big it can't even fit in me. Because I love you, and I want to be with you, and I want to stay with you for the rest of my life. And, I would be proud; it would be an honour for me, to carry your children. Because I don't know if you've noticed Hiccup but…I love you" she concluded before gently grabbing him by the shoulders and kissing him softly. After about a minute, Hiccup began to return her kisses as they became deeper and slightly hungrier, Astrid whispering several things between kisses.

When suddenly, the cupboard burst open and Ruffnut lunged at Astrid, sending them both into a wall, Astrid getting caught by her shirt on a sharp rock. "I'll kill you for this!" Ruffnut said angrily, before Astrid jumped from the wall, her shirt being torn off as quickly as the table cloth trick. Before Ruffnut knew it, Astrid had her on the floor, beating her close to a pulp, before grabbing her by the hair and throwing her out of the window, Ruffnut landing in a puddle of mud because of it. Astrid picked up the tattered piece of blue cloth that was once her shirt as she turned to face Hiccup, who covered his eyes at the sight of her very revealing bra. "its okay sweetie" she said to him. "You're my boyfriend, so you're supposed to see me like this" she continued before walking over to him. "You're actually supposed to see a lot more of me than this". "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Astrid, what are you do-uuuuuuhhhhhh" Hiccup tried to say while she pulled it down lower, showing even more of her C cup cleavage, before asking "you like what you see, dragon trainer?" as she unhooked the back of it. She pressed her lips against Hiccup's while she let the bra fall on the floor next to her shirt. "A-a-a-strid" Hiccup stuttered before the now topless Astrid took a step back, Hiccup once again blushing at a loss for words before saying "w-w-what a-about y-y-you-r shirt?" Astrid walked up to him and said "ah, I was gonna change that anyway. Way too tight for the ladies over here. I might try dark red next time, you know with a hood on the back, little more fur than before. What do you think, Hiccup?"

"I love that idea" Hiccup answered before kissing her. "But not as much as I love you". This time it was Astrid's turn to blush before she said "so, we're together now right?". "If you want to be" Hiccup answered. "You're not using reverse psychology now, right?". "I never was, no". "So Hiccup, if we're together now, can we…you know…consummate, the union?". Hiccup was once again blushing as he said "well, I don't know, I mean. Come on, Astrid, I have not the slightest idea on how to do…that". Hiccup tried to think of an excuse before Astrid kissed him and said "it's okay, we're a team now. We'll figure it out together". Before Hiccup knew it his back was once again against the bench, Astrid kicking the door closed as she sat over Hiccup, her lips clashing with his. Hiccup had never thought that a small incident with a poem could lead to him being with the girl of his dreams, as she closed all of the windows in the forge before they did things a T rating couldn't describe.

_(FLASHFORWARD)_

"So, that's how we got together" Astrid said as she finished her story.

"Hold on so, you two have already...

"Oh yeah, several times" Astrid answered. Then a voice said "Astrid? Are you in here?"

"I'm in here, Hiccup"

"Oh yeah, there you are. Oh, hey Mom"

"Hello son"

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh Astrid here was just telling me about your little incident with her poem"

"Poe-wait, you mean...love me forever, you told her about that?"

"H-hm" Astrid answered. "I told her everything. Ruffnut's ear. My um...my discarded clothing"

"Oh, you didn't tell her anything after that, did you? You know, none of the um...dirty bits"

"Do you want me to tell he-

"NO! No, for Freya's sake, no. No one is gonna find out about what we did"

"Oh, was it strange?" Valka asked.

"Well, we got used to it after the first five or seven times" Astrid answered, Valka being wide-eyed in shock after hearing this. "Shall we, M'lady?" Hiccup asked as he motioned to the door.

"I'd love nothing more" Astrid said as they walked out hand-in-hand. Valka looked where they'd gone and said "aye Stoick. Our lad's chosen himself the right girlfriend alright"


	5. Author's note

Hello, readers. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed my story. I never thought this story would be so popular. I'd like you all to know that I'm now taking requests for future chapters. Now, just to point out, I'm only doing requests that stay in the same continuity of what has happened in the story so far, so I won't be doing anything in modern day or any other timeline. It'll only be set in the current universe. They can be set either after the flashback from chapters 3-4 or after chapter one, it's your choice. They can include all the characters that I've shown so far. So, I look forward to hearing your requests and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Johnpatgillespie.


	6. Advances

Valka walked around the Academy, where a voice said "um, excuse me, Valka"

"Yes. Oh, um... it's Heather, isn't it"

"Yeah. Have you seen Eret anywhere?"

"Eret, eh? Is he the one with the marks on 'is chin?" Valka asked, Heather saying "yeah. Any sign of him"

"Oh, he and Skullcrusher went with Hiccup and Toothless to find Trader Johann"

"Okay. I'll just wait here if it's okay with you"

"Oh, of course. As long as you don't steal Cloudjumper as well" Valka laughed, Heather faking laughter nervously. "So, I've heard that this is your first time back at Berk"

"Uh, no actually. It isn't. See, about a year ago I came back here and Ruffnut t-you know, it's a real funny story. Why don't I tell you from the beginning"

_(FLASHBACK)_

Hiccup woke up in the forge. His girlfriend Astrid was asleep with her arms around his waist, a small drop of drool dribbling from her open mouth as she slept. Hiccup gently pulled himself down to where Astrid was sleeping and softly kissed her forehead, only for Astrid to wake up and pull him to her lips for deeper, more intimate kiss. Once she finally let go, Astrid rubbed her eyes and said "hey you"

"Morning beautiful" Hiccup said. "You know, even when you sleep, you dazzle me" he added, before saying "ow" as Astrid punched him on the shoulder.

Astrid was just in the doorway when Hiccup said "so, I'll see you at the Academy then". Astrid was looking to her right when she saw the other riders, excluding Ruffnut, sitting by a well. She turned to Hiccup as he said "so, I'll see you later", only for Astrid to say "excuse me? Is that it?"

"Is what it?" Hiccup asked, Astrid answering "we have to say goodbye the way a couple are supposed to say it" as she pointed to her lips. Hiccup took her hands and gently kissed her on the cheek, only for Astrid to grab him by the cheeks and pull his lips to hers, the others turning their heads in awe after witnessing this. Hiccup was still shocked in the first minute of their kiss, but eventually was able to return it by the second. When she pulled back, Astrid said "that's how we're gonna say goodbye now" before turning around and leaving, Hiccup still at a loss for words as her hips swayed from side to side while she walked. Snotlout walked up to Hiccup and said "well, gotta hand it to you, cousin. You beat me to her, and I congratulate you for it"

"Oh yeah, sorry about that Snotlout" Hiccup said, only for Snotlout to answer "ah, don't worry. If she hadn't chosen you, I wouldn't have my eyes on the beautiful Ruffnut, would I?" just before Ruffnut walked over, the teeth-marks on her ear still covered in plasters. She looked to all the boys talking to Hiccup, before saying "so, why's dragon boy got all the attention for?"

"Well, Ruff" Tuffnut answered jokingly. "Hiccup over here just walked out with his girl Astrid. And they made out for hours" Tuffnut added.

Hiccup said "well, I wouldn't call three minutes hours Tuffn-

"Why couldn't you get with Hiccup? I wanted to be in line for chief" Tuffnut said, only for his sister to kick him in the groin, Tuffnut lying on the ground clutching his privates once she had done so, and storming off. Hiccup asked "you okay, Tuff?" only for Tuffnut to say "she…got me…right in the Terrible Terror!" in a very high voice.

Later on, Hiccup was sitting in the Academy after a trust exercise. He scratched Toothless under the chin as he said "there you go bud. That was tiring today, wasn't it? Can't be too careful in case Dagur or Savage come back, right?" Toothless purring like a cat as he lay down to rest, while Hiccup added a few stitches to a saddle he had made for his father's new dragon Skullcrusher.

"He looks tired" Astrid said as she came back into the Academy. "Yeah, he is" Hiccup said without turning to face her, Astrid nevertheless wrapping her arms around his waist from behind and trailing kisses from his neck and up from his chin to his lips, Hiccup being slightly hesitant while he ended up on his back with Astrid on top of him, as he said "whoa okay, wait. Astrid we can't do this right now. What if someone sees us?" before turning his head to face the steel gate, only to see it closed tight. "Don't worry, I locked it. Just you and me" Astrid said as she pressed her lips onto his, her tongue eventually becoming involved as well.

"Oh (kiss) come on (kiss) Astrid, you know that (kiss) that I (kiss) have to (kiss) to get (kiss) get this saddle (kiss) saddle for Skull (kiss) Skullcrusher (kiss) ready. I (kiss) can't do (kiss)" Hiccup tried to say while she continued her advances, even saying "no Astrid" while he held her back by her shoulders.

Astrid showed both shock and disappointment in the face that Hiccup had fallen in love with, before Hiccup looked into her hypnotically beautiful blue eyes and said "oh what am I saying, you know I can't resist you" before pulling her to his lips and kissing her almost as deep as she usually kissed him. Astrid pulled out and said "that wasn't like you, Hiccup", Hiccup looking down as he said "I know. I'm sorry, that was stupid and out of line" before Astrid said with a desperately hungrier tone in her voice "I like this new Hiccup, and I want to see more of that" as she zipped down her leggings and kissed Hiccup while she slipped her hands round the back of his head, ruffling his attractively scraggy hair with her fingers.

Hiccup didn't know how to react to this. The most beautiful girl he knew was currently pressing her lips against his while she stroked his hair with one hand and slipped the other hand under his shirt, her cold fingers touching his recently developed abs. Sooner or later Astrid grabbed Hiccup's hand as she continued to kiss him, distracting Hiccup while she pressed his hand to her waist and trailed it up her stomach and stopping at her breast. She smiled at him through the kissing, saying "oh, I'm gonna enjoy this"

That night, the teens waited on the harbor for a ship to arrive. Hiccup wasn't there, for he was still busy in the forge, so Astrid went in his place. Ruffnut was still sulking about Astrid getting with Hiccup. _Why'd she have to win?_, she thought to herself. _It's not fair! I saw Hiccup first! All I have to do is get her outta the way and Hiccup's mine. I bet he's hung like a horse downstairs!_

Finally, the ship arrived, and an old aquaintance stepped out. "Heather!" the group, except a less-than-surprised Ruffnut, said as their young friend stepped out. "Hey guys. It's great to see you all again!" Heather said. "Hey Astrid"

"Heather. Great to see ya"

"No hard feelings about the um... you know, stuff with Stormfly, right?"

"What? Come on, Heather, that was two years ago. Nothing heals like time"

In the Great Hall, Heather sat down on a bench next to Ruffnut. Seeing the young Berkian sulking miserably, Heather said "ah-hem. Hello, Ruffnut"

"Yeah, yeah, hey Heather"

"How have you been doing th-

"Look, can you just not talk. You're already boring me!" Ruffnut snapped.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you"

"You're not upsetting me. You're pissing me off!" Ruffnut snapped again.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were oka-

"Well, I suggest you make sure your mouth stays close before I smash your face in! Huh, do you want me to do that, Heather?"

"Um, no, I would not. At all"

After a brief silence, Heather asked "so, how's Hiccup been?"

"Fine, I guess" Ruffnut sulked impatiently. "He's hot, handsome and g... hm. And single"

"Single?"

"Yep. He just never settled down, I guess" Ruffnut lied, a sinister smile coming to her face.

"Oh. Um, where is he?"

"The forge, as usual" Ruffnut said, prompting Heather to walk outside and down to the forge.

Hiccup was sitting at his desk drawing pictures of dragons. Heather hid behind the door and watched him, undoing the first few buttons on her shirt to give herself some cleavage. "Hey Hiccup"

"Hi, how are y-Heather?"

"Yep, it's me" Heather answered as she tried to puff out her chest.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was in the neighborhood and I, thought I'd pay an old friend a visit"

"Oh yeah, who's that?"

"You, silly" Heather said as she sat next to him. Hiccup was beginning to feel rather uncomfortable around Heather, for he still remembered what happened last time she showed up on Berk.

"So, Ruffnut's been telling me all about Berk's current status. And yours too"

"My... status?"

"Oh come on Hiccup. We're both young, attractive people. I'm a girl, you're a boy, and that's why-you know what, just forget this, I have no idea what I'm talking about" Heather said before she kissed Hiccup. Hiccup tried to speak as she kissed him, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her back. "Heather, I'm sorry, but... I'm drawin' the line there!"

"You're... rejecting me?" Heather asked. "Oh Gods, this is the second time I've had this conversation this week!" Hiccup said to himself. "Look Heather, I'm sorry but, I can't do this"

"You don't think I'm... pretty?"

"What? No, I think you're beautiful. And smart, and funny" Hiccup answered as Astrid was about to enter, hiding behind a pillar as Hiccup added "but, I can't do anything with you, I'm sorry. Because, I love Astrid"

"Well, Ruffnut told me you were single. And if you're wondering, my basement is clean as a whistle"

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean there's nothing wrong with my vagi-

"No no, no. Not about that. But, about Ruffnut"

"Oh right, Ruffnut told me you were single so I thought, you know, I could get to know you a little better"

"Ruffnut told you I was... argh, damn it Ruffnut!"

"Why, what's wrong?"

"That's my boyfriend you're trying to seduce! That's what wrong!" a voice said.

"Astrid! Oh my Gods" Heather said in embarrassment. "I-I-I c-c-can explain e-everything, I ju-

"Shut up Heather! It's funny, cause I was just about to come in here and beat you both to pulps, but..."

"But what?" Hiccup asked nervously, before Astrid grabbed him by the collar and pulled his lips to her own. After about two minutes, Astrid let go of Hiccup and said "but then, I heard all the things you were saying about me. You know, about how you love me, and all"

"Well, of course I love you" Hiccup said as he kissed her gently. Heather tried to back out silently, before Astrid said "oh and Heather"

"Y-y-yes"

Astrid smiled in a friendly manner as she said "just need you to know that if I catch you acting on Hiccup like that ever again I'm going to stick a knife up your babymaker and cut out your uterus and make you swallow it, okay"

"Okay" Heather said nervously, tears of fright starting to come from her eyes. "Hey hey, it's okay. Don't cry, Heather. Okay, come here" Astrid said as she embraced Heather, Hiccup being very confused by her actions. When Heather split away, Astrid said "there you go. You feelin' better?"

"Yeah, I'm fine now" Heather smiled. "Now excuse me, I just need to pay Ruffnut a visit"

"Okay, bye Heather" Astrid said as she waved Heather goodbye, turning back to Hiccup and closing the door saying "now... where were we?"

_(FLASHFORWARD)_

"Well, that was quite an entertaining story, me dear" Valka laughed.

"I know, I guess that's why Ruffnut hates me now"

"Why would she be angry? She lied to you"

"Yeah but, I could have reacted a little better"

_(FLASHBACK)_

Ruffnut sat on the bench fiddling with a knife. Any minute now Astrid'll come running in with tears in her eyes she thought to herself. Little did she know that behind her, Heather grabbed a bottle of glass and raised it over Ruffnut's head. Slamming the bottle down, Heather grabbed Ruffnut's shoulder from behind and kicked her between the legs.

Losing breath at this impact, Ruffnut weakly said "what the-" as Heather flipped her over her shoulder and threw her on the floor, saying "that's for trying to break up Hiccup and Astrid" before climbing on a chair saying "and this is for lying to me" as she jumped off the chair and elbow dropped Ruffnut, who let out a small weak "ow" once she had done this.

**Author's note: Well, there you have it. Thank you Porcupain for your suggestion and I hope to hear other people's suggestions. Remember, as long as it's set in this universe and takes place either after chapter one or during these flashbacks, I can do them. Hope to hear from you all soon. Bye for now.**


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